This has truly been a difficult season for me. For too long I have put my dreams on the back burner out of fear and that grand ole feeling of unworthiness. You know what I have learned from that? I so need to learn the art of shutting up.
I am at the point in my personal life where I am determined to make certain things happen. For someone who always preaches against becoming stagnant in life, I sure as hell have done a great job at becoming just that: stagnant. Wanting to do more but too afraid to try. Allowing people who don’t want to see me progress influence my behavior and actions. Talking about all the things I want to do but can’t seem to start. Well, not anymore. You have to practice what you preach, right?
So, in a nutshell, I have done my best to silence that nasty inner voice and turn up the volume on my confidence. It’s working. I feel more sure about myself and the things I want to do. I have started and completed projects (more to come on that!) and made some pretty major personal decisions. I can truthfully say that shutting up and putting my hands to work has been quite beneficial.
Remember earlier when I said I was in the middle of a difficult season? I wasn’t kidding. Funny how when you make up your mind to get things done and better yourself how everything around you will flip upside down. Between my employment, home life, and personal life, I feel like I’m being pulled in so many directions that at any moment I’m going to snap. However, I refuse to. I didn’t make up my mind to be proactive just to run back into the nearest corner and cower like a naked, big-breasted woman in an 80’s slasher movie. No. Never that. Despite my current stress, I’m using this opportunity to press forward and prove myself.
I mean, damn, if I have to fight this hard, I at least must be on the right path…