Before I dive into this one, I want to make something very clear: Though I’m a woman, I do not condone a lot of the ass backwards stuff members of my gender do when it comes to matters of the heart. Have I participated in some of this ass backwardness? Absolutely. However, as time goes on I begin to recognize a very simple fact. People tend to make things much harder than they need to be. Especially women. 

Allow me to elaborate. Have you ever seen a dog walk down a street and pee on every tall bush, light pole, fire hydrant, or blade of grass he passes? Even if that pooch only has a single drop of urine left, he will lift his leg and sprinkle that sucker on whatever catches his fancy. That dog is marking his territory. He will use the scent of his bladder juice to find his favorite spot and also let other animals know that whatever his sprayed belongs to him and him alone.

It’s that last part you should pay attention to. Women do the same thing, sans all the pee. When a woman wants to make it known to other women her man is taken, she may leave little innocuous trinkets around that a man may overlook but a woman wouldn’t. Like bobby pins next to the bathroom sink in the home of a man who lives alone. Or a thick-bristled hairbrush in the car of a bald-headed man. A pair of sexy heels in his closet. Lipstick on his favorite coffee mug. A pair of panties on top of his hamper. That woman has just marked her territory. 

Here’s the ass backward rationale behind this behavior. If a man should decide to step out of his relationship and see other women behind his main girl’s back, that new woman would see those trinkets, understand that this man already has a woman, and then the new woman would back off. Sadly, or should I say, hilariously, this does not always work. 

Men are not such simple creatures as members of my gender often suggest, not when it comes to foolishness like this. Why? Because men, believe it or not, know how to clean. For example, does anyone really believe a man will not clean out his car when he’s about to go out? Or just in general? Half of the trinkets used to mark a woman’s territory by way of his car will end up in the trash on his way to destination, wherever that may be. 

But let’s forget about the markings being cleaned up and thrown out. What about the man himself? Do women really think their men are blind to these tricks? Trust me, they aren’t. At least, not always.

Now, I will say that marking one’s territory sometimes works…for the wrong person. Picture it: A man is in a relationship with Woman A while seeing Woman B on the side. Woman B is well aware of Woman A’s existence but does not care. Whenever she meets with her guy, she makes sure to leave a little something with him to let Woman A know that her man is no longer her man; he now belongs to Woman B. Oh, but wait, what’s this? Now Woman A is aware of Woman B and she’s ready to fight for her man. How did all of this happen?

Have you ever seen two territorial dogs pee in the same location? Or two alpha felines in one room? Yeah, same thing.

You can’t piss in another woman’s yard without a fight.

The whole thing is just messy and stupid. My reasoning is simple: If you have to do all of that to keep your man at bay, he isn’t really your man. By engaging in this behavior, you have expressed your knowledge of both his (potential) womanizing ways and your own insecurity. Women will scream and holler all day long about how confident they are and then do insecure stuff, like marking your territory. It doesn’t take all that. It really doesn’t.

For those who say that this behavior doesn’t reek of insecurities but instead let’s other women know that your man is off the market, let me first say that your very reasoning is riddled with insecurity. Why should you have to warn the female population that your man is spoken for? Shouldn’t it be enough that he’s with you and not someone else? Where’s the trust?

For the women who know their men are cheaters but want to deal with him anyway, marking your territory is pointless. You and half the city are probably peeing on the same damn guy, figuratively speaking. Where’s the sense in that? You deserve someone who will at least attempt to remain faithful. Speaking of which, if you are the other woman, what business do you have marking another woman’s territory? If you had a man of your own, you probably wouldn’t have this problem.

Oops, did I go too far?

The point of the matter is that marking your territory is childish and unnecessary. Keep your panties on your ass, your makeup and hair products in your own bathroom, and stop leaving things in your guy’s car on purpose. At the end of the day, the only one looking silly is you. 

**Please be advised that while I spoke primarily about women, I fully understand that men also engage in silly behavior, not all women engage in territory markings, and no one is being comparing to dogs, peeing or otherwise 🙂