Single Ladies: Advice from the Relationship Challenged

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I don’t keep it a secret that I’m single and have been for a while. But I love to talk about relationships, romantic and otherwise. I’ve always been curious as to how people interact with each other. Always been an observer. So when I get into heated debates online about why single people should not give relationship advice, I instantly get annoyed.

Actually, this isn’t just an online thing. The general consensus is that you can’t talk about anything you’re not going through.

“How could you offer advice to a couple about their relationship when you’re own bed is cold?”

“If you had everything figured out, you’d have a man or woman of your own.”

“If you’re so perfect, how come you’re not married?”

To all of that and so much more, I say, “WHATEVER.” Yes, in all caps.

My reasoning is simple. I don’t have to be in a fire to tell you that you’ll get burned in the flames, especially if I’ve already felt the heat. What? Do we both have to be burnt to a crisp before you take me or any other single person seriously? That’s silly.

That fact of the matter is that regardless of where a person is in their life, you don’t always know where they were, where they used to be. You don’t always know what they had to endure in the past relationships or what they learned from them. Sometimes the best advice and wisdom comes from the least expected places.

Let’s say the very answer you seek was created from a failed marriage that happened ten years ago. Will you not accept it because the person is no longer with his or her spouse? Will you cut yourself short on something that could save you a world of heartache?

A common argument I hear from people who are anti-single people, is that they believe the single person is bitter and jealous of the committed person and wants them miserable. For instance, I’m always told that as a woman in a relationship, if your single female friends give you counsel about your man, it’s because she probably wants him for herself.

Okay, first of all, get over yourselves. Not every woman you meet is out to sabotage you. And guys, not every man is trying to sleep with your lady. Sometimes advice is literally just that.

And secondly, if  you seriously think your single friends are that scandalous, then you have bigger problems than worrying about who’s giving you counsel.

In a nutshell, please stop with the whole, “You can’t tell me anything about a relationship because you’re not in one,” nonsense. You don’t need to take every bit of counsel that comes your way; that’s not the brightest thing to do. However, try not to discredit something that could help you just because it didn’t come in the package you expected it to. At the end of the day, you don’t know what someone else has gone through.

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