Blockbuster

Rest assured, dear readers, this piece isn’t about the now defunct video store or any big budget summer movies. Nope, this is all about love. That type of love that slowly gnaws at your soul piece by piece until it’s officially torn in half. Kinda like a Horcrux minus all the Voldemort. I’m talking about that debilitating type of love for someone you can never have.

Let’s be honest. We’ve all been there. Whether it was a schoolyard crush on another kid from your class, a longing for someone who was already spoken for, or hell, even a lusting for a celebrity who will never know your name, no one is excluded. Your best friend’s sibling giving you butterflies? Sorta wish his or her ex chose you instead?

Yeah, you know the feeling.

It’s the story of my life. In the past, I always found myself attached to the one person who was unavailable. Didn’t matter the reason. The M.O. never changed.

Why is it that people want what they can’t have? Is it the taboo, the feeling of touching forbidden fruit that causes us to crave the unattainable? Is it the idea of perfection we seek without fulling understanding what it means to be with the person of our desire? Who knows?

What I do know is that often we tend to project all the characteristics we desire in a partner onto someone who may have just a few traits. After a while, that person ceases being who they are and becomes who we want them to be, at least in our minds. We ignore the flaws and exalt the greatness. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s normal; we all do it. However, the rose-colored glasses are eventually flung off and we’re forced to face the actual person, dirty habits and all. I think that sometimes, though, we tend to wear those glasses for the wrong person and we never get a chance to fully experience the whole him or her for ourselves. All we’re left with are fantasies and a deep longing.

It sucks. It sucks hard.

To me, wanting someone I can’t have is like continuously picking up my favorite movie from Blockbuster. Eventually I’m gonna get tired of renting it and want to buy it for myself.

If only it was for sale…

Oh well.

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